Aurora - Rean Heart

[awakenerd]

You float in a void--darkness around you, above, below, in every direction, nothing. You stand on nothing, you even breathe nothing. But you do not feel in danger, you are not suffocating. You are simply existing in… Nothing.

Crow | Towa | Dusk | 80H | Rufus

Comments

[awakenerd]

His voice is... Tired, but his grip loosens.

"You want to know why I hate myself, right?"

[voreaciously]

"Yes, I do. Everything, really." She can guess, but she should not act on conjecture, he was right to stop her in that case when she doesn't understand this aspect of him.

At least not yet, anyway.

[awakenerd]

"There's a lot of reasons. I've always been scared of myself as long as I can remember, I've never liked myself. I've always had--a rage within me. And now I bear a curse. I cannot control myself without help, I cannot contain this power and this viciousness without control.

In life I worked constantly to maintain my humanity. In death...

My shame helps me keep it buried.

...No, maybe I'm not being very clear. There's a lot of things even I don't remember clearly.

But even if I didn't need to suppress it, still--I would not deserve to like myself."

[voreaciously]

She listens intently. "And whose strings are you on?"

[awakenerd]

"Mine. Crow's. Randy's. My existence. The past. My responsibilities. My duties. My regrets."

[voreaciously]

"Are they tethers or meant to control you?"

[awakenerd]

"Do you know what I am?"

[voreaciously]

A history teacher.

"A Divine Knight."

[awakenerd]

"No. Me. This aspect you are talking to."

[voreaciously]

"...You're the rage."

[awakenerd]

"Bingo."

[voreaciously]

"Denying a part of yourself like this is only going to make it worse."

[awakenerd]

"So do you want to break all the control I have as the solution?"

[voreaciously]

"No, certainly not that," she sighs. "I do apologise, I should have acted more critically." but she saw him here and her first thought was to help, but she's not going to admit that. it's not very like how she should be.

"But it's very black and white, and I have seen what happens when people predisposed to great and deep rage lose control and themselves in it." It's not great!

"I seek something more moderate. Integration."

[awakenerd]

Mrhg.

"I know you only want to help. That's why I haven't killed you."

He slumps back onto the throne, the bones creak.

"I'd rather not integrate if it's all the same to you. There's a lot more to me than anger."

[voreaciously]

"What else is there?" her tone is very patient. She needs to understand and partial simply won't do.

[awakenerd]

"I am the Curse as well."

[voreaciously]

"What is this curse? Can it be excised?"

[awakenerd]

"It is... Let's just say I and it are intertwined. We're the same."

[voreaciously]

"So trying to untwist it would be harmful to you."

[awakenerd]

He goes a little gentler.

"Think of me as... Part of a filtration system. I'm charcoal and the curse is poison. It's impossible to extract that poison now, I've absorbed it. You'd have to break me into so many pieces you'd never fit me back together to even separate us.

Yes. It would destroy me.

But someday I will destroy it, and I will still be me. Until then, it's better if I am here."

[voreaciously]

She ponders this. "You had better."

NOT THAT SHE CARES!!!!

but she looks out to the corpses.

"This, though...what would happen if I buried the bodies? I am not trying to erase your actions, but..."

[awakenerd]

"...I don't know."

[voreaciously]

"If you'll excuse me for a little while."

She tries to will the scenery into giving her a very good shovel!

[awakenerd]

If all she wants is a shovel she gets it. Anger just watches her, looking more depressed than pissed, slumped on his throne.

"Isn't that going to be a lot of work?"