awakenerd | Aurora - Rean Heart

Aurora - Rean Heart

You float in a void--darkness around you, above, below, in every direction, nothing. You stand on nothing, you even breathe nothing. But you do not feel in danger, you are not suffocating. You are simply existing in… Nothing.

Crow | Towa | Dusk | 80H | Rufus

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"Memories, my thoughts, my impressions of people or events. Either directly or filtered."

[suddenly desperately wants to know Rean's impression of him

but that also sounds like a violation of privacy, maybe??? not that just being here already isn't...

maybe don't, Randy.]

Oookay.

[DISTRACTION TACTIC]

Can I suck you off now?

FLUSTERED.

"Y-you can have both!"

So I'll eat you out too!

"I meant, my impression of you...."

He's dying Randy.

"We can also have sex? It's not... limited.... You have access to all my heart, Randy. Not just because you're here. I don't mind if you look at things. But you do belong here--you're in no small way part of me. If you're more literally in my soul than usual it's... kind of nice I guess."

...If it's okay, then. I don't... wanna pry?

[but Rean is pretty much saying he can do whatever and that's both extremely charming and slightly worrying.]

Don't do anything uncomfortable, okay? You can always say 'hey Randy don't do that'.

"I'll warn you if I think something might mess me up. But I don't see anything wrong with you indulging whatever curiosity you have.

Randy you're literally connected to my soul at all times. My life and yours are bound. And I trust you. You don't have to worry as much as you are, even if I appreciate the sentiment. Trust yourself a little.

If you want to look through my feelings for you, or try to wander around you can. I'm okay with it. If you want to have wild sex you could only have in a place where imagination can make anything real, we can do that too. I want you to feel comfortable wanting what you actually want."

...

[squeezes his hand]

All right. I'll try an' stop holding back so much. Can you show me, then? How you feel about me?

"Do you want to experience it or read it?"

...Experience it, I think.

[it'll be harder to deny then, and he knows himself]

He takes Randy's hand, lifts it to his his chest, and places it over his heart.

Randy's probably used to feeling things from Rean, including affection. But now, he feels... As Rean. He can see, just a bit, himself through Rean's eyes.

Tall and strong and handsome, sure. But with such a core of kindness and gentleness that it takes Rean's breath away. A guy who doesn't love himself when he deserves all the love in the world. Someone funny, and smart, and amazing. Someone he trusts. Someone he loves, deeply.

And Rean worries about hurting him, and wishes he could remember him better. But those are minor compared to just enjoying Randy's company right now, in how they know each other now.

He doesn't see Randy as perfect. There's no idealization. But he does see him as wonderful. He wants to protect Randy, and he wants to rely on Randy too. That's just what you do with someone you love, right?

He feels very lucky that Randy loves him, he marvels at it sometimes. He's grateful for Randy. Of course there's also the parts of him that are horny for Randy! There's plenty of physical appreciation and desire but it's just part of it. Part of being incredibly into this guy in front of him.

[It's hard to take that. Even feeling it directly, part of him wants to deny it, but he puts that in a stranglehold swiftly and pulls Rean into his arms.]

Fuck.