awakenerd | Aurora - Rean Heart

[This might be a dream, but it feels real. And so does the fluttery lightness in her heart. And if it isn't-- Even without knowing anything, he's still the same Rean that she loves.]

Rean...

[She nods her head.]

Mm. I want to kiss you too...

[No more regrets.

At least this once, she's going to loop her arms around his neck and softly press her lips to his.]

He slides one hand so it's at the small of her back, holding her close as he kisses her back, gentle and sweet.

There's definitely a feeling of butterflies and heart-hammering in the kind of just... atmosphere, the feelings charged but gentle.

[This moment couldn't be more perfect. More than she imagined, even. Because thoughts can't create these feelings around them.

Her face is flushed, but the soft, shy smile can't be shaken. She wants to just stay here-- even though she knows she shouldn't.]

The kiss does, for a moment, also seem to last... Forever? Who knows how that works.

But then Rean breaks the kiss before it goes deeper for now, blushing.

...I told myself for a long time that it would be okay if I never confessed my feelings. I didn't want them to become a burden on you, if you couldn't return them. And I was scared.

[But a lot has happened to her. She understands regret a little better. And she's never going to get a better chance than this.]

But... even if it's just here and you don't remember it-- I want to say it at least once. I want you to know.

[He deserves it. And so does she. At the very least, the closure.]

I love you.

"Towa..."

He takes one of her hands, gently, and lifts it to place her palm over his heart.

"I don't remember you. Not well. But I want you to understand how I feel. And I don't think words will really work."

There are feelings, from him. They're his feelings. Fondness and affection and just a bit of well, being turned on. Just a little. But mostly, overwhelmingly, there's respect and protectiveness and friendship and indeed love. Joy at the confession. Flustered and unsure. But they're confused feelings too. They're feelings that don't know exactly why they exist, but they do exist. He's felt them and he knows they're real.

"I knew when I met you again that you were someone special to me. But I also don't remember what we shared. I can't change what I don't know, but I do want to get to know you again. And hearing you say that makes me beyond happy.

I don't know if I'll remember anything you do here. Anything you've said.

Outside of this place I don't have the advantage of feeling and understanding you like I do here. You might have to be patient with me, I can be a real idiot. And you might have to be patient because I want to get to know you again. But even if this is asking a lot, can I ask you to tell me that again? Not here, but outside."

[Just to be able to stand there and feel those things coming from him and know that they were directed at her was more than she could have ever asked for. If there's one thing she wants to hold on to, it's this. For once, her feelings aren't one-sided.]

I know... and that's okay. Before now, I never even imagined saying them out loud, much less to you. Even if you don't remember this-- even if you never remember me more than you do now... it's okay. My feelings aren't ever going to change. You're still exactly the same person I fell in love with.

No matter what happens, I want to stay by your side. I know there are a lot of people that support you that can do more for you then I can. But I want to be there.

[The idea of saying it for real, on the outside, is still a little scary. But-- that's not the strongest feeling she gets from it anymore. It's more like... excitement. Some of it is nervous excitement but a lot of it is happy.]

If you want me to say it again... I will. I promise. I'll say it as many times as you want me to.

"As many times as I want, huh?"

He's blushing but also happy. His feelings there for her to feel.

"I'd like to take it at your pace. I'm a lot older than I look. I'm not in a rush but I also don't need to hesitate.

When you're ready, I'll be happy to hear it from you. And when I'm ready, I'll not hesitate to say it back."

Yeah. It's a promise.

[She's returning the favor for what he'd said about her performance. It's embarrassing but-- it's a relief. It feels like a weight has been lifted off her shoulders. And this way, she can hold herself accountable.]

I've... hesitated long enough. If I held back now, I don't know if I'd ever have the courage again. But I don't have any regrets. I'm really, really glad...

[On cloud 9 or not, she can't ignore it-- the one thing that confused her a bit.]

But please don't say you're old. How do you think that makes me feel?

"I mean... You can't be much older than 19 at most, right?"

[...he doesn't remember. It's not his fault.

It's not his fault.

...

And everything was so wonderful too. But she'll never be able to get past this image complex, until the day she dies.

Depression.]

...I know I look like this but I'm really 21...

Oh. Oh no.

"Ah... Well a youthful appearance can really be a blessing you know..."

No, it's okay... I know. You don't have to try and cheer me up.

[She knows.]

I just have to accept that I'm probably always going to look like this...

"I mean... Well as I said, I'm a lot older than I look, too."

Even if that were true you're--

[Well. Might as well say it. It's not like he couldn't tell how she feels anyway. He's not the only one who's felt turned on by the other.]

Perfect. And I'm...

[This.]

A-anyway, you wouldn't remember but... I was actually a year above you in school.

Perfect?? Hm.

"If by "this" you mean an amazingly cute, beautiful, kind woman, you are "this", yes.

And apparently a little older than me once. That's kind of ....

...Um, honestly the thought is provocative, you know?"

[So many emotions have gone through her heart in a short period of time. A happiness best described as total bliss, self-conscious depression and...

Aidios help her if Rean saying all those things one after the other isn't turning her on right now.]

P-pleeease don't read my mind right now...

[Is that how this works? Can she do that?? No, probably not.]

"I can't... Help it. Sorry. If it helps, I feel the same way."

[She had a feeling. But knowing he feels the same way... helps. But maybe not in the most productive way.]

If you say those kinds of things... I can't help it.

[It's not a surprise. She wants him to look at her that way. Right now, she doesn't want him to stop, even if it's selfish.]

Rean, I... kiss me again. Please?

"Yeah."

He'd add he'd be happy to but honestly she can still feel that he is, in fact, happy to. She can feel he's turned on too, and embarrassed. But he's tugging her gently closer and stealing the need for either of them to talk by pressing his lips to hers, his heart pounding in a good way.

This time, gently and coaxingly, he is going for a deeper kiss, licking her lips lightly, seeking entrance to her mouth without the shyness she may or may not expect.

[She doesn't know what to expect and that's what's even more exciting. She's never let her fantasies go this far. Her heart is pounding just as badly as his.

But that gentleness feels just like him; and she melts into him easily, letting him in with a soft whimper. She may not have her voice, but her feelings speak volumes.

They're not shy about how much she wants this-- wants him.]

His mouth is warm against hers, his tongue soft as he explores her mouth, still gentle but definitely not hesitant, eager even.

His palm rubs gently against the small of her back, and encouraged by her want, his other lightly grips her hip to pull her closer.

[She lets him explore her freely, but meets him halfway, just as eager.

With their height difference it's less her thigh and more her hip that slides between his legs, lightly rubbing up against him.

She can feel that his heart wants her-- but the self-conscious side of her wants to feel the proof that his body wants her too.]

Ah. He makes a soft noise against her lips but she finds what she's looking for, he's definitely hard where her hip rubs against him and his fingers tighten and clench a little at her back and hip, before he forces them to relax and smooth out.

But he takes that as invitation to pull her closer, flush enough she can, without a doubt, feel the physical evidence of his interest as he pulls his mouth away and mutters against her hair.

"Do you believe me now?"

[She feels bad that he had to witness that kind of doubt coming from her. But without a doubt, it’s all gone even before she finds her voice.]

Sorry... yes. I believe you.

[Replacing that doubt is the beginning of something new. Pride. Knowing without a doubt that she was the one responsible for the fact that he’s hard right now was an emotional— and even physical rush. She finds her own desire is linked to the idea of what ways she can make him feel good. Her fingertips hook over the waistband of his pants with a light suggestive tug.]

Let me make it up to you—?

[She knows he’d probably say there’s nothing to make up. But this is just as much what she wants as it is any sort of apology. He’s the one she came here for after all.]

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