"There's a lot of reasons. I've always been scared of myself as long as I can remember, I've never liked myself. I've always had--a rage within me. And now I bear a curse. I cannot control myself without help, I cannot contain this power and this viciousness without control.

In life I worked constantly to maintain my humanity. In death...

My shame helps me keep it buried.

...No, maybe I'm not being very clear. There's a lot of things even I don't remember clearly.

But even if I didn't need to suppress it, still--I would not deserve to like myself."